It's only been 12 days since my grandma died. It still hurts deeply and I think that sting will likely be there for quite awhile. It has been said we mourn because we love. It was worth it to love my grandma so deeply even if it meant that I have to hurt like this. Yet there are moments of joy every day. I create those moments. I choose those moments.
But most of all I feel joy because so many people have reached out to me in love. Just in the past 12 days these things have happened to me (in no particular order because they have all touched my heart):
1) Sweet cards from loved ones. Cards from my grandma's friends that express the love they have for her too.
2) Donations for the memorial and all of the costs associated with it. For years I stressed and wondered how I could possibly pay for grandma's proper burial. But miracles came through.
3) Amazing friends in my church community that I didn't even know before that have brought me meals. And all of the love that has been expressed in those meals. None left without hugging me and letting me know I am not alone.
4 Pink tulips from my room mate for my grandma's grave.
5) Visiting with my cousin and laughing so hard we cried about funny memories with grandma.
6) All of the prayers, facebook comments and emails.
7) The knowledge that this is NOT the end. Death is not the end. Oh how my gratitude grows for my Savior and His love. He knew I would be mourning. He knew who needed to be in my life to heal the pain.
8) My sweet relief society president that cleared out my grandma's apartment for me on Saturday. I was too sick and weak to go myself. She did it all on her own. I had only met her once.
So yes God is indeed good. He giveth and He taketh away. But even when He takes away He still gives us His peace and love.
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